Boyfriend embarrasses me
My (23F) boyfriend (31M) has Aspergers and is unbelievably caring, loving, supportive, helpful, devoted and cheerful. He likes to act the clown and make people laugh etc but he often lacks social awareness and etiquette, resulting in, at times, mortifying blunders. I consider myself a diplomat and am training to be a teacher where professionalism is vital. I also find it important to gel with people and to be liked and respected.
Many of his foolish behaviours are charming and lovable, but sometimes I worry my livelihood is at risk, and that his lack of social skills and bad behaviour will reflect badly on me. I’m a high-achiever and fear I will lose my prosperous social life, professional opportunities and respect from my communities. He likes to be included in most things I do, meaning if I see friends he wants to come along etc.
Examples: - swearing loudly in public / in front of neighbours - deliberately farting / burping in public - causing a public scene during an argument - shouting in front of neighbours - making inappropriate jokes in front of children - not-so-discreetly referencing sex life in front of family - racist jokes (which he even did at a professional networking event I invited him to) - trauma dumping / self victimising - competitiveness - childish, grating, loud voice and sense of humour - ungentlemanly table manners (ie, serving men first, making me self-serve)
Disclaimer EDIT: Thanks for all your opinions, it’s given me a lot to think about. Sorry if this post seems overly disparaging, it only highlights one facet of his personality from my perspective. It does not explain all his wonderful traits or negative ones. It also does not summarise our relationship.
He takes criticism really well and I don’t think he wants to be embarrassing. I love that he’s cheeky because he surprises and endears me, but it can be too much and the damage control is stressful. He’s very receptive to change and growth, but I also don’t want him to lose his personality because of me.